why is it that i've wanted something so bad for so long & now that i'm about to get what i want, now that i'm getting closer to it step by step i feel so confused, i feel scared...
is it because it's a major step, a major risk in my life that i'm afraid to take the leap & get disappointed with what the results will be? am i afraid to disappoint myself? to disappoint the expectations of people around me? do i feel scared that i might realize that i don't really want it as much as i think i do?
so many thoughts running in my mind...i feel scared, i feel confused...maybe i do think too much...
i feel sick deep in my stomach...feel like throwing up...
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